We’ve all heard the saying, “Stick and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” Lie.
Right up there with, “Age ain’t nothing but a number.”
Negativity – whether expressed verbally or behaviorally – can hurt and cause damage. And often, it does. Indeed, negative words and actions serve to demean, demotivate and demoralize. In the workplace, it can disengage the most plugged-in employees – sapping them of their fire, commitment, and morale.
So how does one counter the effects of a less than positive co-worker, office environment or boss? What can you do to maintain your sense of peace, positivity, and productivity when dealing with a person or situation over which you have no control?
To figure out how to survive and maybe even thrive in these situations, let’s take a cue from the sports arena. Look at basketball for instance – the most outstanding players have to deal with negativity on a regular basis and STILL perform on the court. When playing on their home courts, fans are cheering, coaches are guiding and fellow players are assisting to help bring out that player’s best performance. The atmosphere is one of utmost support, encouragement, and positivity.
When playing away from home, however – this is not the case. Their coaches are still coaching and teammates are still assisting but the crowd and the atmosphere are hostile. They want players on the visiting team to LOSE and their words and actions reflect that sentiment. Even so, the expectation for each player on the visiting team to excel is still there from fellow teammates and from fans back home. So despite the noise and negativity, he/she has to excel and, hopefully, secure a win.
What can we glean from this common situation on the basketball court to help us in negative situations we may encounter at work? Here are a few tips that can enable our peak performance under any condition.
- BUILD UP YOUR RESISTANCE
What you do away from the office will help you tremendously during those few times at work when you encounter negativity.
Back to the basketball example: Basketball players train HARD. Behind the minutes that you witness on game night in the arena, there are countless hours that you don’t see – diligent effort during team practices, sweaty workouts during weight training and intense analysis during game reviews. These actions go a long way in preparing players to perform against tough opponents and in hostile environments. Their minds, bodies, and spirits are built up to withstand the physical, mental and emotional challenges they are bound to face.
What can you do behind the scenes to build yourself up and become inoculated against negative encounters?
Welp, just like in basketball, to help keep things under control, rely on the REF – relaxation, exercise, and fun.
- Relaxation: Not only does your body need 6-8 hours of solid sleep each night, you also need downtime during the day when you’re wide awake. Examples include quiet walks in nature, morning meditations, long baths, or a couple of hours in the library leisurely browsing through books and magazines.
- Exercise: There is a scientific connection between exercise and good mental health. This equates to increased resilience to stressful situations – in our workplaces, at home and in social settings.
- Fun: Nothing releases anxiety, evokes endorphins and rejuvenates your soul like some good ole fun! …however YOU define fun…whatever floats your boat and suits your fancy. Make a point of having f-u-n on a regular basis – not just on special occasions.
- MAINTAIN YOUR FOCUS
It could take the rest of our lives to figure out our own motivations for why we do things in life. So don’t get distracted by psychoanalyzing the motivations of others. Note the behavior, maintain your poise and keep moving toward your already established goals. In other words, keep your eyes on the prize.
“…we cannot allow ourselves to become overly concerned with things beyond our control – which includes the negativity of others.”
When basketball players are driving to the hoop, they glance to the left and right in order to become fully aware of their surroundings and to decide how to proceed. Thing is…they ALWAYS keep their mind’s eye focused on the GOAL – the basket.
Similarly, in our work lives, we must be aware of the “terrain” so that we can respond accordingly. However, the goal is to keep it moving forward all the while. In order to do this, we cannot allow ourselves to become overly concerned with things beyond our control – which includes the negativity of others.
We should pay it enough attention in order to adequately respond so that we CAN keep moving forward. That’s it. We ought not linger and ruminate on every less-than-ideal behavior of our coworkers. Doing so is counterproductive. Assess the situation, respond accordingly and maintain your path.
- CONVERT FOR THE WIN
Encountering negative behaviors in the workplace from time to time is par for the course. You can bank on it. It’s called reality. You could also call it “an opportunity to become more adept at handling challenges”. And that is a quality worth honing – for advancement in the workplace and in life.
In the game of basketball, tough competition, hostile crowds and an atmosphere of pressure are part of the package. Good players become the best players as they compete against the toughest opponents. This is where they fine-tune their fadeaway jumpers, speed up their fast breaks and improve their overall game.
“Building mental toughness and translating negativity into broader awareness, increased adaptability, and greater self-management skills helps you to “convert”…”
The same is true in the workplace. You want all your experiences to “grow” you professionally. Therefore, when you face negativity, ask yourself these questions: “Is there something I can do to…”
a) Improve the situation?
- Is there a positive, simple action you can take to lessen the severity or frequency of the negativity?
b) Neutralize the situation?
- Is there a way to prevent or avoid the negativity all together?
c) Be unbothered by the situation?
- How can you grow personally, emotionally and/or spiritually in order to let the negativity pass with no emotional impact on you?
Answering these questions puts you on the “offense”. Thinking fully to figure out what you can do gets you out of defense mode and into proactive action regarding the situation. Just keep in mind what’s within your circle of control – you, your actions, your reactions, your behavior, your emotions – because that’s where your power lies.
Building mental toughness and translating negativity into broader awareness, increased adaptability, and greater self-management skills helps you to “convert” your experiences into professional growth. It facilitates you becoming a more valuable member of the organization – more effective in your current role and better prepared for a future position. And isn’t that what it’s all about?